I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
