Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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