He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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