Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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