I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She's the barista slut.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
