6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
