just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
