The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
