A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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