Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
