I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
