obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
she looked like the before picture.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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