I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
