just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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