So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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