I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
