he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
