grandma shit on top of the toilet
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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