Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
