Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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