Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm like, not good at living.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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