I don't usually arrange sex via text message
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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