Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
