what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
