its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
