thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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