Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
