Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
