She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
