Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
