And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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