the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
