But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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