god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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