I love black thongs
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
