Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
NoShamevember. You game?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
