I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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