Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
