she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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