You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
im holly from the hills drunk
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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