thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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