You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize