God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
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