That's intense
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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