No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
