What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
