Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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