The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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