how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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