the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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